My wife comes from a Jewish family. We were both atheists by the time we got married, and yet, I am finding myself following more and more in the "Jewish atheism" tradition as time goes on. For instance, I now celebrate Channukah and Passover (and I would have celebrated Rosh Hashanah1, if only I'd planned ahead enough to get a kick-ass shofar); I absolutely love lox, with the capers and everything; and now I am finding that my new favorite non-alcoholic beverage is seltzer. Not seltzer mixed with anything, just plain seltzer.
Can I do this? Can I convert directly from gentile-turned-atheist to secular Jew, without actually practicing Judaism first? Does this make me a poser?
Meh, even if this is totally lame, I don't care. You'll have to pry my seltzer from my cold, dead, atheist, gentile hands.
1I refuse to celebrate Yom Kippur because I find the idea of religious atonement to be highly distasteful. Even with the Channukah and Passover ceremonies, I am pretty sure the only reason I am able to stomach it is because most of the "Oh God you are so awesome, I totally kiss your ass" stuff is in Hebrew, which I don't understand.
Wokehammer?
1 hour ago
No frickin' way. You have to pay your dues first, and that means going to shul first. You don't get the benefits without the costs!
ReplyDeleteAw man, no fair. I did all of my "dues-paying" in a religion whose primary traditions involve door-to-door salesmanship, magic underwear, and a morbid spin on the old dunking booth. I tried to convince my wife that sleeping with other women would be at least be one way to honor my Mormon heritage, but since I was not a member of the church prior to 1890, she wasn't buying it.
ReplyDeleteThis sucks. Being a secular Mormon is no fun. I wanna be a secular Jew!
How many times do I need to go to synagogue? My wife dragged me to one once for Yom Kippur just for old times' sake... Does that count?
I'd wish you a happy Yom Kippur, but I am atone deaf
ReplyDelete